I will sing of the steadfast love of the LORD, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 89:1 ESV
It was been an atrocious few days. The kind that you never want to repeat and the outcome of which, unfortunately, have changed your life.
Work. In my life, a necessary evil. I have been employed by the same company for three decades and the last ten years or so have been rough for me. Don’t get me wrong – God has blessed us over the years with our jobs remaining steady when others’ were not, favor with our employers, etc., . . . maybe that’s why this was even more shocking to me.
Following a process that started turning our world upside down the end of September, someone else’s choice has officially landed me in a new job, with a new title and responsibilities – none of which was my choice. The rest of my prior team, which was also split for the last four months has been put back together again, minus me. This is not a change that I was looking for, nor did I want it and tried to communicate such as strongly as possible while remaining professional. Regardless, “they” did exactly what I was hoping they would not do. The result is this unwanted new job and new boss in an area I do not like and the loss of community – which is not easy for me, by the way – of my prior team. As I became aware of the situation on Tuesday, I will admit, I “lost it.” My heart is broken. I feel betrayed and disregarded; I am angry and I am grieving.
Also for me still, this has spiritual repercussions, “Why, God?” This is one of those things that I so totally do not understand why He allowed it to happen. Add this to some other things for which I have been seeking God’s heart diligently the last few weeks and I was in quite a state of feeling like He was silent and I did not understand.
Then, last night it began, from three different sources, a strong consistent message, a message so powerful and undeniable that I must “sing of His love” . . . which for me, is actually to write . . . 🙂
- [God] is intensely engaged with His people. He’s not disconnected from what’s happening in the affairs of . . . your life . . . At the very core of God’s personality is a consuming love for His people . . . remember how intensely the Father loves you. (1)
- A God who is a father, tender and loving and full of compassion, who will be on [your] side against the whole universe . . . (2)
- Finally, my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotional this morning that could not have been more specifically applicable to my present situation than if I would have written it myself. (Link below)
– A challenge “to stop assessing His goodness based on how my life felt at any given moment.
– You (God) keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you . . . (Isaiah 26:3-4 ESV) (3)
One thing ministering to my wounded heart could be a coincidence (because some will say this), but three things, one after the other and so targeted to exactly what I needed in my spirit! I was awed, overwhelmed and humbled that the Creator of the universe met me in this way. I felt heard and seen by Him, thus I felt His amazing, never-failing love. That is who He is and that is the message I must tell.
Our circumstances may not change one tiny bit, but just as Isaiah states and as you can find all throughout His Word – God will faithfully strengthen and walk with those who choose to engage with Him in relationship. HE IS FAITHFUL!
(1) Mike Bickle. Growing in Prayer Devotional: A 100-Day Journey
(2) Hannah Whitall Smith. God is Enough
(3) Lysa TerKeurst. “When Peace Feels Impossible,” https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2020/01/16/when-peace-feels-impossible
Denise Travanti 